Infinite Pest

Margaret Courtship

So, apparently winning a sports event in Australia entitles you to attention and people actually caring about your opinion. From Sam Kekovich to Shane Warne we get constantly told “eat more lamb” and “people on bicycles are psychotic dickheads”. Now, these people are by no means experts on the subject but their opinion is broadcast on the basis that they were good at something and have thus earned our undying loyalty and trust. The latest is Margaret Court and her article “Priority is to protect marriage”, so far all I’ve seen is universal scorn for the piece and I’m going to join it. 

Everywhere you look we are making excuses for a sliding lifestyle and more people are blind to it than ever before.

Sliding lifestyle? We rank second globally on the Human Development Index with a constantly increasing score that currently stands at .929 (with 1.000) being the perfect score. We have four of the top ten most liveable cities in the world, Canada is goddamn awesome and they only have three. Our cities are well developed, we make good money, the people you meet are generally happy. Where the hell is this sliding lifestyle Margaret? Hell you got paid for hitting a ball repeatedly over a net well, life is not that goddamn hard.

We are a country with a moral fabric and families and marriage are at its core.

But increasingly our kids are being taught that anything goes.

Moral fabric? Families and marriage at its core? Yeah…alright, remember that stolen generation thing we only got around to apologising for a couple of years ago? We actually did that. We did it for 100 years. 

As a society we are losing touch with fundamental Christian values, as our leaders lean towards an agenda of political correctness to keep the minorities happy.

Fundamental Christian: AWESOME! Fundamental Muslim: TERRORISM! Fundamental anything is stupid. Do I really need to get into the “beat your slave but not to death, trade your daughter for cattle, kill people who eat shellfish” parts of Christian fundamentalism? Because I feel like that’s been covered a million times. 

Looking back, you can see that there has been a steep decline, especially when it comes to the issue of sexuality. There is so much scripture within the Bible that points to what we see happening now.

Unless you saw the four horsemen of the apocalypse riding in on a Mardi Gras float I have no idea what the hell you’re on about.

In the Bible it said that homosexuality is among sins that are works of the flesh.

In my Superman comic it says that if Superman flies around the earth fast enough he can turn back time. These are both equally valid arguments.

My concern is that we are advocating to young people that it is OK to have these feelings. But I truly believe if you are told you are gay from a young age, soon enough it will start to impact your life and you will live it.

This is scientific fact I remember that once I told my Dad I wanted to be a velociraptor and he said “Don’t be stupid. You’re a boy, not a velociraptor”. And guess what? I ended up being a boy! And not a velociraptor! It would clearly work the same way for the gays! Just tell the to suppress it, put all those feelings far, far away. Suppression has never led to any negative outcomes, I’m completely with Margaret on this one.

We are living in a society that takes the easy way out. But we have to work at life and make things better. You need to be disciplined. I became the first Australian woman to win Wimbledon because I trained hard and worked towards it.

You probably trained 30 hours a week, doing what people do on their day off to relax. Don’t pretend like you’re some amazing super powerful human being because I saw you do your job on television. Drop the sense of entitlement.

There is so much deception in the world and it’s getting worse by the minute. The Book of Romans speaks of the people of Earth trading in God; of worshipping life and things within it instead of God who made us.

I also read that the reptillian overlords have infiltrated our society and governments are now looking to farm the earth and it’s inhabitants. I know this is true, because I read it. Lies only come from politicians and secularists, not books.

We will only start to tear away at the rich fabric and sustained values. Then God will take his hand off our nation and the lights will go out.

God is AGL?

Margaret, your views are like your tennis playing: antiquated and people stopped giving a shit thirty years ago. Ask yourself why you think gay marriage is wrong, but here’s the kicker, you can’t say because it’s against God’s will or that it’s immoral. Just trying coming up with one good reason, of your own accord instead of relying on a 2,000 year old book that condones amongst other things: genocide, rape, human trafficking, slavery, not talking to menstruating women, killing men who cut their hair and wearing poly-blend clothing. This is what your book condones, the way I see it you only have one option if the bible is truly the word and will of God. Sell your daughters to me, that’s right. Sell me your daughters, as stated in Exodus 21:7. I will name you a fair price, there’s no need to worry about being screwed here. So Margaret, there are three things you can offer me:

1. Your daughters, we’ve discussed this already. This is most in line with your current views.
2. Your faith, if you want to spout off your views on marriage. Stop believing in other people’s ancient bullshit.
3. Your silence, you don’t have to do either of the other two options that would be heinous to you. But please, just shut up. Never publish anything ever again. Just delete Microsoft Office. Stick to tennis and people will stop talking about what an ignorant moron you are.

Margaret, it all comes down to one thing. If this makes other people happy and doesn’t affect you in the slightest, why the hell are you against it?

tl;dr Tell Margaret Court to cram it if you see her