February 2012
4 posts
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Watchflaviia:
OMG. THIS. WAS THE FUNNIEST THING. I HAVE EVER SEEN. EVER.
Wiig/Rudolph. Funny voices. Everything I love.
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The Westminster Dog Show on Acid
We walked through the press entrance into an empty hallway with an out-of-use turnstile pointed at the wall. Brayden thought this was absolutely hilarious and kept strolling through it and smooshing his face up to the cinderblock wall, before laughing hysterically and doing the whole routine all over again.
I love you Vice.
“War is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most...”
– Major General Smedley Butler (1935)
January 2012
4 posts
Margaret Courtship
So, apparently winning a sports event in Australia entitles you to attention and people actually caring about your opinion. From Sam Kekovich to Shane Warne we get constantly told “eat more lamb” and “people on bicycles are psychotic dickheads”. Now, these people are by no means experts on the subject but their opinion is broadcast on the basis that they were good at...
Twitter is broken. So I just want to say Billy Cundiff, thanks for that one. Let’s see how Terrell “T-Sizzle” Suggs felt about that missed kick.
And they just played Niggas in Paris over the highlights. I’m just over the moon.
VIGO
Vigo the Carpathian scared the hell out of me when I was younger, Ghostbusters II was a horror movie for me. Yeah, I was scared by a movie that had a dancing Statue of Liberty in it. Big deal.
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December 2011
4 posts
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I'm Super Hilarious
Customer: Do you have any Bundaberg Red left?
Me: There is no Bundaberg, only Zuul.
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Blind Spots
Today at work, I had a man come in wearing a cycling shirt and helmet. Pretty standard except for one thing, the guy was wearing an eye patch and clearly lost his eye at some point. We discussed cycling for a bit until:
Man: Yeah as a cyclist, I’ve been hit about a couple of times a year.
Me: Wow, people really need to keep an eye out for their blind spot when they’re driving.
Him:...
November 2011
10 posts
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“It’s like people who are really into their astrological sign and they have...”
– Doug Stanhope
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dót)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
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I could probably search “Do A Barrel Roll” in google and laugh for the rest of my life happily.
Facts About Myself
If you don’t like Niggas in Paris I don’t want to deal with your shit ever.
October 2011
22 posts
1 tag
Facts About Myself
Just a bit of insight into my life, if I absent mindedly break out into a song it will either be “Forever Young” or “Jolene”. Most often Jolene.
“Peace is like oxygen and when you have it, you don’t think about it, but when...”
– Joseph Nye
“There’s no such things as sex addicts, it’s a problem of the...”
– Kevin from The League
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Alternatives to Study
When textbooks let me choose my own adventure, then I’ll give a shit.
“We’ve all been disappointed by a film that fails to live up to its...”
– This is why America is going to shit.
pondering justice and fairness
anthonyforpm:
With adequate perspective, you’ll probably find the scales are permanently in your favour.
Not everyone will.
Read it, sign it if you agree. If you’re not sure go and scope around a couple of sites, everything I’ve read leads to my conclusion that it’s fairer, more humane and cheaper. These people are often fleeing war and genocide, these people tend to scorned...
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Minority Report IRL
The freaky Minority Report pre-crime system called FAST that Homeland Security was mulling over waaay back in 2008 has been given the green light, and voluntary citizens are now having their actions tracked by an algorithm for signs of hostility.
In the years since the Future Attribute Screening Technology (FAST) was first first revealed by Homeland Security, the department has honed its...
Jobs wanted to drop LSD into water supply: CNN →
Costume Parties
Costume parties, we’ve all been to one but why do the occur? In England they are called fancy dress parties, despite what you’re wearing. In England you could turn up to a party dressed as a hobo and it would still be a fancy dress party. This is yet another example of England needing to check themself befo’ they wreck themself.
The costume party began in the 18th century in...
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Sometimes you see people’s pictures on facebook and think “Is your skin actually that orange or is the contrast on your camera just completely fucked?”
taniiiaaa asked: why do you srk drks?
Anonymous asked: name origin?
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September 2011
32 posts
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Barbados Slim
Zoidberg: Barbados Slim? I love that guy
Hermes: Everybody loves Slim, he's the only man to ever win Olympic gold medals in both limbo and sex.
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Your Daily Dose of Swag
James Jr grew up with money to burn - quite literally, on occasion, when he set fire to a bulky roll of money because it would not fit comfortably in his pocket.
James Gordon Bennett, Jr. showing history how it’s done.